Given how spot on my predictions have been for 2016, why not go for an encore?
Here they are:
Lizzie Marvelly, citing bilingual anthem prowess, will contest a Māori seat for the Greens. Elected on the list, her fully sung maiden speech will inspire the nation, propelling her to become Winston Peters' deputy PM.
Fearing imminent electoral defeat, Peter Dunne will add a top hat to his ensemble. He will still lose, but Peters will appoint him as Minister for Revenue anyway due to a lack of interest from anyone else.
Ron Mark will not be happy with his political fortunes, and will form a militia made up exclusively of short angry men on the outskirts of Carterton.
Gareth Morgan will undergo experimental surgery to extract his head from his arse. It will fail.
Jacinda Arden will reinvent herself as a Goth.
Judith Collins will maim somebody, and Chris Finlayson will get her off.
John Key will appear on Dancing with the Stars.
Paul Henry will get a hosting gig on Al Jazeera English that lasts for a total of five seconds.